Brain-Cage 1 (of 3)

(spoiler: darkness ahead, reader discretion advised)

1.
I know it’s not what
you want to hear
this rawness this fear; you’d
like just the fluffy stuff
with just a touch of snark
you want the light side of me
while ignoring the dark storm
underneath, angry and sheer
so … sorry / not sorry
’cause you, you can stop here,
go back to the fluff

when my synapses spark darkly
light isn’t enough
I don’t have that choice,
whichever surface I show,
my “outside” voice
I can’t escape
my own head
criminal behind cranial
bars instead
damp with bad brain
hot and slick and brain-sick
or dry dreaming and dead

and that’s if I even manage
to get up, manage
to drag my ass from bed
and – why didn’t you
open the windows today?
get some fresh air?
my God, I want to say, don’t you get it,
that sun outside
it isn’t for real
it isn’t for me, so
why should I care?
like it’s not really there

 

(Click here for Brain-Cage 2)

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