I feel nothing but broken
but I cannot hide,
because the battle’s all inside.


How can you stand to stand by me
when my fallout-mind’s a chancy ground,
when all my sands shift like the sea;
why don’t you leave me fallen down?

How can you understand the shame until you feel the shrapnel smash?
My blitzkrieged brain burnt out and maimed,
the surface crazed like broken glass.

No one wants a war-torn girl,
whatever color her wild sky
or music locked in her shell-shocked soul…
God, what’s the chance she’ll try to fly?
(or try to die…? )

I guess I’ll never have your strength —
my own is bunkered down and deep —
but every night when dreams fall dark,
please hold my fire so I can sleep.



spiders-web-644923_cc0I’m told the trouble lies
deep in my synapses
both spider and maze
embedded and threaded,
the warping of my weft,
strings plucked to sound
sorrow or shrill,
strings pulled
to make me dance darkly,
venomous strands casting
long shadows
over all I see.

there is today.
And today there is sun
enough to disentangle
the threads of me.

Selfies Show Life With Mental Illness

Beckie0 (Rebecca Brown) took a photo every day for 6 1/2 years, showing her life with mental illness. (Depression, anxiety, trichotillomania, and dermatillomania.) It’s an amazing share.

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